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More bitching and moaning...

If it wasn't for people on the other side of the planet and IM, I'd be completely stir crazy (or, at least more stir crazy than I already am). Other than while I'm working--which, is now almost never--I don't have much social contact anymore. I foolishly moved to a dank, sunlight-deprived basement in a Polish ghetto on the Bumble-fuck Egypt far NW side of Chicago where I only know 3 people (they live in my building), I can't speak more than 10 words in Polish (my three friends either interpret for me or sometimes I can get by speaking "Tarzan"), I'm very far from anyplace I want to be and my car died right after I moved here.

Since I moved here, the only person who's ever traveled across town to visit me has been my ex-girlfriend and that's wearing out. She wouldn't even go with me to the hospital or visit me there, because it takes her forever to get out this far. She doesn't drive. My brothers have never even come over and they're both less than thirty miles away, even though I've gone to see them.

Furthermore, my 3 ton work van only gets 12 mpg and it literally takes at least an hour to get anywhere I want to be on public trans--usually more like 2 or three. Plus, my sciatica makes it so I can't ride more than about five miles on my bicycle without really hurting my back to the point where it takes days to recover.

I can't remember ever being more unhappy or uncomfortable in my whole life. That includes back in 1992, when I was a crack-headed drunk with the shakes, hanging out behind a liquor store with the other gutter people, praying for 7am to finally arrive so I could get some cheap vodka and kick down. I think there's a Gypsy curse on my family. Their lives aren't any picnic, either. But I'd trade problems with them or any of my friends five fold, right now. My rent is only $520 a month and I don't even know if I'm going to make even that by the first. Again, I'm just pouring my guts out. I couldn't drink, even if I want to. I have a hard enough time just getting food into me.

Unlike everyone I know, my food bills have actually gone down. I'd prolly be cold all the time, accept one of my meds gives me extreme hot flashes. I'm sorry to be such a downer all the time. I've kinda used up all my friends' "listen to Andy bitch and moan" quotas. I'm sure yours has just about been reached, if it hasn't already. The servers must be down in Indonesia, because the friends I have there all dropped off line at the same time and haven't gotten back up since about 3am. So, I'm sitting here at dawn, not loving life, at the moment. It sucks to be tired and not be able to sleep. Really.